Sample Articles

Extra from Volume 14#4

by Hannah S.

Ever since I was twelve years old, I dreamed of the day when I would get married, have a family, and a home of my own. And I assumed that this would happen quite soon after I graduated.

Well, eighteen rolled around, and alas! there were no wedding bells tolling. Unknown to me, that stage of singleness would last for ten years and counting! I was not prepared for that. I knew in my heart that God must have a reason, but I still wondered—“why?”
Then came the day when a young man came into my older sister’s life. My sister and I were very close—best of friends—and we talked about everything. At first I was excited! She was twenty-four and I was happy for this happening in her life—finally! But I was totally not prepared for what this would now mean for me, especially as she rode off to “happily ever after” and I was left at home. Suddenly she had the desire of her heart—and I didn’t. That was hard. And it only got harder, because I didn’t get married a year later, like everyone said surely would happen.

As the years have ticked by, some days I can rejoice and be glad that I am single and able to do the things I am doing. But deep down I still want to get married, and I believe that is a God-given desire. We all have been told: “singleness is a gift,” “enjoy this season and the freedoms you have now”—but that doesn’t take away the very real desires within our hearts and it doesn’t keep discouragement from knocking at the door.

So what is a girl to do? I would like to share with you some of the things that I have found really help me to have a joy-filled and content life as a single:

Fall in Love with Jesus

“For He hath said: “I will never ever leave thee, nor forsake thee” (Hebrews 13:5). Fall in love with Jesus. If He is not already your first love, you don’t know what you are missing out on! No guy, no matter how wonderful, can compare to Jesus. Jesus loves you beyond your wildest imagination.

Wake up each morning and dig into His word for what He has to say to you. I have been loving my new tradition of praying through the Bible—reading and searching for a verse to pray into my life each morning. It has made God’s Word come alive to me in new and exciting ways! If you don’t find your personal devotion time to be a highlight of your day—change it up. Find something that you can look forward to in your devotions: a pretty new journal, a Bible reading plan, an accountability partner, a daily devotional to read alongside your Bible.

Having a deep love relationship with Jesus is the one and only thing that will help you through every season of life. Even if marriage does come your way someday, you will soon learn that you can’t go through that stage of life without leaning hard on Jesus and fully depending on Him for everything. Having a deep love relationship with Jesus is the only way that serving others and ministering to the needs of your family will hold any water either—for it is only when you do it as unto Him that He can take and make beauty out of our feeble attempts.

Know that you can fully trust Jesus, girls. True contentment and joy as a single comes when you realize that this is His perfect will for you, and you will not be single a day longer than He knows is best for you. The more I have learned to trust Him with this area of singleness, the closer I have grown to Him. He truly is my best Friend, my closest Confidant and my dearest Lover. Even when I don’t understand what is going on—and facing yet another disappointment: I know I can trust Him for the details. Because His timing and His reasons are perfect. Always.

Count Your Many Blessings

“In everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). Another major key to true joy in this season of singlehood, is to choose to be grateful. Instead of dwelling on “poor me,” “look at others,” “nobody loves me”…choose to look for the things you can be thankful for today: think of all you have! Uninterrupted time to be with Jesus everyday…getting to do fun things with your siblings and parents…being available to help serve at church and in the community.

“Thank you Lord for big rocks by the river, sitting and soaking in the beauty around me, as leaves fall softly to the ground—and it’s just You and me.”
“Thank you Lord for those little girl giggles of my nieces as we play a game of tag.”
“Thank you Lord for kitchen sinks and dry towels, as I lean against the counter and listen to one of the older ladies at church share her life story.”
“Thank you Lord for those late nights, with my Bible open and candle burning low…my heart burdened in prayer. Just You and me again.”

These are blessings that I have today. What are your blessings? Start a blessing journal and see how many things you can find to be thankful for!

Serve Others

“’Verily I say until you, inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these My brethren, ye have done it unto Me” (Matthew 25:40). Try this: Wake up each morning with the thought, “What can I do for Jesus today?” For some, this may mean getting to go on a missions trip, or helping at an orphanage, or serving as your church secretary. But, for most, the Lord has us at home with our family all day. Do your work with excellence, walk around with a smile on your face and make it your mission to cheer up another person’s day, looking for the little things you can do to serve and help—in ways people won’t expect! Have fun surprising people with a note of encouragement, a bouquet of flowers picked on your morning walk, or an ice cream bar on a hot summer day. Make their bed and see if they notice. Offer to make supper for your mom so she can go on a walk with your dad. The ideas are endless!

You never know how God might use your little effort to bless someone immensely. I have been amazed at the amount of times a friend will randomly send me a Bible verse or a good quote and it will be exactly what I needed to hear at that given moment. So don’t despise the little things—they are huge.

Surround Yourself With Godly People

“He that walketh with wise men shall be wise, but a companion of fools shall be destroyed” (Proverbs 13:20). I would encourage you to surround yourself with godly people who are focusing on the bigger picture—living lives that are set apart for the Lord. Look around you. Who do you admire for their godliness? Who do you hear talking about Jesus and desiring to grow closer to Him? Those are the people you should spend more time with, so you can learn from them and be exhorted towards godliness yourself.

Seek out an older mentor lady that you can meet with for coffee or take out for lunch. Ask her questions about what the Lord has taught her in the areas you struggle with. You may be amazed at how much she can identify with you, even though she is older. If you don’t have any older ladies near you, how about trying good old-fashioned letter writing to one from afar? It is so fun to find something good in the mailbox. If nothing else, take a trip to the library for a nice stack of biographies portraying women of faith from the past (see page ___ for a list of great biographies) and learn from their experience by reading!

Find young people your own age who are seeking the Lord and who will encourage you to do likewise. Who you spend time with can really effect who you are. Spending time with young people who are not seeking the Lord can drag you down, so be careful who you spend a lot of time with. Again, if you find that there are no godly young people around where you live, then seek them out as pen-pals or subscribe to a magazine or blog for young ladies your age. Talk to your parents about attending a young ladies conference or a family camp where you can possibly meet some other godly young people. Look around you with an open heart; you may be surprised to find that there are more godly individuals around you than you think—they may not dress exactly like you or go to the same church, but you will find beautiful common ground in your mutual love for the Lord and desire to live for Him.

Finally, become a mentor to a girl who is younger than you. Give her the friendship, encouragement and spiritual exhortation that you needed yourself when you were her age. Take her out for ice cream, go on walks together, show her you care and share honestly with her your struggles and what God has taught you through them. One of my best friends is a girl who is twelve years younger than me. We are different, and at different stages in life—yet we have one bond in Christ and our love for Him has brought us together in special ways.

Sisters, don’t think that only single girls face discouragement—married girls face discouragement and disappointments too! At every stage of life we will encounter some sort of joy and also trials—they just come in different colored packages. These keys of making Jesus your first love, choosing gratitude, serving others, and surrounding yourself with godly people fit the lock in all stages of life: singlehood, college, courtship, marriage, motherhood, widowhood, grandparents…whatever God has for your future. So start living life with joy now!

Hannah is thankful for her family, who are her closest friends, for Jesus who is her Best Friend, and for the opportunities she has been given to use her gifts to serve others in her church and community. Some of the things she loves are quiet walks with her Lord down her country lane, listening to sermons while she cleans for people, organizing, baking yummy treats for her family, heart-to-heart chats with sisters and friends, singing in the choir, graphic design and writing long letters.

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