The PartyExtra from Volume 14#4 |
by Mrs. Kristen B.
I never intended to have a party. Really, it was the last thing on my mind. But when Pride suddenly showed up on my doorstep that night, so elegantly dressed, paying me all kinds of compliments, telling me how much I deserved a party and how enjoyable it would be, I was quickly persuaded. It’s so hard to say no to anything Pride suggests. Even as I began to consider a potential guest list, there was another knock at the door, and adorable Self-Esteem was suddenly embracing me in a warm hug! I really do love Self-Esteem. A delightfully wrapped present was thrust into my hands and my two guests smiled as I eagerly tore it open. Inside was a splendid collection of enormous gold chains, and my friends quickly helped me to arrange them around and around my neck and body, praising me all the while for my excellent taste. I admired myself in the mirror and thought how elegant and how very becoming for the party hostess I looked! Admittedly, the chains were rather uncomfortable and quite heavy, but I figured it was all worth the sacrifice for beauty. (It wasn’t until much later that I realized the chains were actually just cheap brass covered with gold paint. Also, I eventually noticed a small warning label on the side of the box which read “Warning: LIES.”). There came another knock at the door and soon Comparison had joined the party along with two friends, Envy and Lust. Both were shoddy and had sour countenances and I wished Comparison would have consulted me before bringing them along uninvited. Before I could object however, all of my guests began trying to outdo themselves, vying with each other to see who could gratify me more with splendid speeches. Envy and Lust added the most amusing quips and jibes, so I began to think they were not such bad additions after all. I congratulated myself on how splendidly this party was turning out- such delightful guests, such terribly good fun. Self-Pity then arrived completely unannounced, in tears, dramatically sweeping into the room, and before I knew it, was hanging on my neck and bawling uncontrollably. I didn’t know what else to do but join in weeping and so I was rather glad when sharp-eyed Negativity arrived also bearing a gift. The gift was a very long and detailed List of Grievances and Transgressions-of-Others, many of which I had completely forgotten about until that moment. But it was a very useful gift, because then we all actually had something to cry and carry on about. It was an odd party game to be sure- everyone moaning and weeping together, but Misery had also shown up, and so our company was rather complete, I guess. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. I was actually beginning to think that perhaps this was not exactly what I had intended for a party initially, and I was beginning to consider how I might distract everyone with a bit more cheerful activity, when fortunately, Bitterness arrived. Bitterness had brought along a rather sinister looking friend called Hate, which did not please me. But I was so eager to show them my List and see whether they both might have some clever additions to contribute, that I did not mind too much. I was so deep into a heart-to-heart conversation with Bitterness that I don’t know who let in Fear. Dressed all in black and chains, Fear made everyone uncomfortable and was certainly not a suitable guest at my party. Really, this had to stop! There were now many more guests than I had ever intended to invite, and where had they all come from? With my eyes red and swollen from crying, I was exhausted and had a headache, and yet my guests were not taking the hint that this party really needed to end. It must have been early morning before I managed to shove the last one out the door. With a relieved sigh, I pressed my back against the door as I turned to survey the disaster in my home. There was filthy garbage and baggage everywhere! It was littered all over the floor and piled up in huge, black bags labeled Pain and Sadness, and it stunk horribly. How could such an amount even be produced in just one evening? I have cleaned and cleaned, but I still seem to find residue everywhere. The next morning, I finally noticed Depression, who was still slumped in one big mound over in the corner, having snuck in at some point; and who, for all my pleadings, even now refuses to leave completely. Misery and Anxiety keep showing up too. I try to say no to them and even block the doorway, but Depression often overpowers me and lets them in anyway. Then the whole trio slouch on my couch and repeat the most provoking things all evening long. I grow so weary and want to plug my ears, but is that considered rude? My old friend Bitterness is constantly inviting me to tea as well. I know it’s not for the best, but how do I say no to such an old friend? It was never supposed to happen. I wasn’t planning to have a party. How was I persuaded? Oh why do I not consider these things more carefully? I could have invited Gratefulness, Humility, and Love instead, and we should all have had a delightfully cozy evening together. They always clean up after themselves too. It was supposed to be such a wildly fun party and it was really enjoyable to begin with- the guests all seemed to enjoy themselves. But I was the one left with all the garbage in the end. How did that happen? Of one thing I am convinced- I will throw no more parties! Well, at least no more Pity parties! “Refuse self-pity. Refuse it absolutely. It is a deadly thing with power to destroy you.” ~Elisabeth Elliot
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