Sometimes it's easy to get a limited focus. We have so much going on in our lives, in our friends' lives, and in the immediate world around us, that we don't have a chance to step back, relax, and take a look at the bigger picture. We get mired in the mud of our present circumstances. I was dealing with an introverted focus recently. I was like Martha mentioned in Luke 10:38-42.
“Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word. But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me. And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”
Yes, I was like Martha. I was worrying about what wasn't getting done and what I couldn't complete. Just like Martha, I needed a wake up call from the Master to cause me to take that step back away from everything and realize again what really was important about life.
Being human, I had to ask how I had reached this point. What had I done to bring upon myself all these struggles I was facing? Why did my future look so twisted? Why did disappointment and even confusion threaten to overwhelm me?
After some thought, I realized that my struggles had begun a few months ago. What had brought them about? This may make you smile; it does me. My life began to get difficult when I began praying that God would work out His perfect will in my life.
Let me explain briefly what I mean by that. I have always realized that God was in control of my life, and I had accepted that fact though at times I found it difficult. I learned to give in to God after fighting for my own way. Then one Sunday, my Dad said something that caused me to reevaluate my previous ideas. My Dad said that Christians should not only surrender themselves to God's will, but they should take the next step and actively plead with God for Him to work His perfect will in their lives. There is a difference between dejected surrender, and passionate, hopeful surrender. Well, I knew I wanted God's absolute and perfect best for my life, so I began praying, even pleading with God for Him to work out His absolute best in my life.
Thinking back to the point where I first began praying that makes me smile now. You see, God often works in ways that we don't expect and sometimes don't want. My life began getting more difficult. God brought situations into my life that I wouldn't have picked for myself. God said “no” to things that I really wanted, even prayed and dreamed about for months. Life had become difficult.
I began to wrestle with my heart. I bounced back and forth between quiet acceptance and great disappointment. I cried, I argued, I prayed. I got caught up in depression as I realized my dreams had slipped through my fingers. To my shame, I allowed worry to take over.
Let me tell you something. God doesn't give up on us. Even though I had lost sight of Him, God didn't let me go. Matthew 14:25-32 talks about Jesus walking on the water, and Peter joining Him.
“ And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear. But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid. And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water. And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus. But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me. And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt? And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased.”
Like Peter in the storm, I took my eyes off Jesus. I saw the waves of confusion, and became overwhelmed by the storm around me. Oh, I have such weak faith. But, God did not let that stop Him. He reached out His hand and pulled me up to where I could look Him in the face and say, “I trust you.” God met me and helped me to look beyond myself to Him. No, God didn't take the storm away, and He didn't give me what I wanted, but through all this He taught me something far better.
Remember Jesus' gentle rebuke to Martha. That rebuke was for me as well. I was “careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:41-42). I was focusing on myself, my needs, and my troubles, but God wanted me to look above and beyond myself to Jesus. I needed to choose the one “good part.” So, in repentance, I came once again before my heavenly Father, asking his forgiveness and choosing to seek Him first. My focus was off of myself and back where it should have been all along. And it was worth it. I was happy. Isn't it funny, in a way, that when we follow God's plan, we have joy? Yet, I was choosing to spend my moments in worry and depression instead of simply trusting and resting in God.
After writing the last paragraph above, I shall confess to you, that I still don't have everything figured out. To my shame, I still have times of doubting and worry, but the one thing that I have learned and that stays with me no matter what, is of God's awesome love and care for me. Throughout my storm, He didn't leave. When I chose to take my eyes off of Him, He didn't leave. He never gave up on me.
In closing, I encourage you to seek God with you're whole being. Do not just surrender, but actively pray for God's perfect will in your life too. Realize that often God brings about the greatest things in life through trials and struggles. And most importantly, remember, always remember, that no matter what you go through, no matter how you act, God's loves you and is gently guiding you back to Himself. He will never leave you.
Priscilla is a young Christian lady living at home with her family. She was home schooled and graduated in 2005. Currently she is taking college courses from home via the Internet and through the mail. She also works at a part time job, serving at a local veterinary clinic. Priscilla loves writing, horses, the great outdoors, and especially her best friend, Jesus Christ. Her desire is to touch as many people as she can with the love of Jesus Christ.
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